


Secret

by sonnet009



Category: Free!
Genre: Free! Kink Meme, M/M, Panties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 15:15:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonnet009/pseuds/sonnet009
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes — just sometimes — Nagisa will wear panties beneath his school uniform.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Free! Kink Meme.

Nagisa’s sisters loved to torment him. Sometimes they would swap his swimsuit out of his sports bag for one of their own. Sometimes they snuck into his room while he was asleep and painted his nails. And sometimes they hid all of his underwear and left a single pair of panties in its place.

So, some days, Nagisa went to school wearing girls’ underwear. That was just a troublesome little fact of life. The only difference between Nagisa at six years old and Nagisa at sixteen years old, was that whereas little Nagisa would spend the entire day on the verge of tears, guilty and embarrassed and terrified of getting caught, now he had a much more philosophical, laid-back outlook on the situation.

…Well. That wasn’t the  _only_  difference.

Over the years, as his sisters had matured, so had the panties. From white cotton with pink bows to suddenly bold, womanly colors and cuts. As a young boy, Nagisa had felt nothing but embarrassment. Now his feelings were more… complicated.

He would always remember the awful day that he had opened his underwear drawer unconsciously expecting to find one of his sisters’ panties, only to find instead his usual bundle of plain white shorts. There had been a strange sensation in his chest. Then he’d recognized that feeling as disappointment, and his world crumbled around him.

It took months to come to terms with that confusing fact, and then a further three weeks to work up the courage to purchase a pair of his own panties, with a well-rehearsed story about how they were for his girlfriend.

His own panties. They were hot pink with black lace — more mature than anything his sisters had ever given him. He didn’t feel  _proud_  as he hid them at the very bottom of his drawer, but he hadn’t felt regretful either.

And good things seemed to happen when he wore them. He felt confident; adventurous. He’d even been wearing them on the day he successfully managed to start dating Rei.

"Rei-chan, I like you," he’d said.

"I like you too," Rei had replied absently.

Normally, Nagisa would’ve just accepted defeat and let the misunderstanding pass. But that day he’d felt strong enough to stare Rei down until the eyes widened, the cheeks reddened, understanding dawned…

"Oh," Rei said. "You mean…"

"Yes." Nagisa nodded.

"Okay. That’s— okay."

"It’s okay?"

"Yes," Rei said. "I like—. It’s okay."

Nagisa had a lot to thank those panties for. And not just his good fortune.

At this moment, Nagisa is looking at himself in the mirror. He’s wearing the panties, and nothing else. He can’t lock his bedroom door, but his sisters are all out of the house and no one else would walk in without knocking.

The mirror is tall, so Nagisa can inspect himself from head to toe, turning from side to side, standing on his tiptoes, pushing his hips to one side. Experimenting.

The electric pink of the fabric looks good against his lightly browned skin, tanned from the recent summer hours spent at the pool. If he pulls them down a little, it exposes the untouched white skin beneath, and the triple contrast sends shivers down his spine.

The longer he looks, he can feel himself getting excited. He watches the soft outline of his dick beneath the panties’ lace, and as it grows slowly more and more defined, he can’t help but feel incredibly sexy.

Nagisa thinks of Rei, who just left barely ten minutes earlier. They’d been together in this room, obstensibly on a “study date”. They’ve been dating for almost a month, and so far haven’t gone any further than kissing and a bit of light petting. But the making out is always amazing, and just thinking about it makes Nagisa even harder.

His fingers tremble. He’s never touched himself like this before — that’s not why he wears the panties. It’s not about this. But he feels so good right now,  _so good_ , so maybe…

"Nagisa-kun, it’s me." That’s Rei’s voice.

"Rei-chan?!" Nagisa yelps, which is a stupid move.

Taking it as an invitation, Rei opens the door, saying, “I’m sorry for intruding. I think I left my book behind—”

And Nagisa is exposed. There’s no time to hide or deflect or even mute the humiliation by at least moving away from the mirror. Suddenly he doesn’t feel sexy at all — he feels ridiculous and perverted and ugly.

As Rei stares, lips parted and body frozen, Nagisa scrambles to cover himself. Pulling on his discarded school shirt and slacks, he then turns back. Rei, moving as if on automation, at least has enough faculty to turn back to the door and make sure it’s closed behind him.

Recovered enough to speak, he says, “Your mother said it was alright for me to come back up.”

"Oh," Nagisa replies, and it’s a struggle.

"I didn’t think— I mean, it wasn’t— I don’t—"

Strength leaving his legs, Nagisa sinks onto the edge of the bed and perches there, as Rei begins and aborts a hundred sentences.

"Do you— do you always—" Rei’s eyes are wide, his pupils darting about as he works through what he wants to say. "Do you wear…  _those_ … every day?”

"No!" Nagisa says immediately, and too loud. "Not every day. Just… sometimes."

Rei’s eyes finally land directly on Nagisa’s, and he asks imploringly, “Why?”

And Nagisa wants to say that’s it’s not his fault. His sisters made him do this. It all started so innocently. And, okay, these aren’t his sisters’ panties, and no one made him model them for his mirror, and he’s been going to school and hanging out with his friends and kissing Rei like he isn’t wearing a dirty little secret beneath his uniform, and okay he’s a freak, but he  _knows_  he’s a freak, and he’s  _sorry_ , and he’ll do anything if Rei will just stay and not look at him like that and _please not tell anyone_ , and—

"—isa-kun. Nagisa-kun.  _Nagisa-kun._ ”

Somewhere in his inner monologue, Nagisa’s vision must have started to go grey, because he suddenly has to blink to fog away. When he can see Rei again, Rei now actually looks more calm than Nagisa feels.

Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, Rei thinks for a moment before saying, “Let’s talk about this rationally.”

"I’m sorry," Nagisa says.

The words are barely more than a breath.

"You don’t have to be sorry. I just want to understand."

"I’m sorry." He can’t stop. "Rei-chan, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry."

"Nagisa-kun, you don’t have to apologize."

"But I’m really sorry." Nagisa puts his head in his hands and starts tugging at his bangs. "Seeing something like this — you must be so grossed out."

There is a pause. “Nagisa-kun—”

"I’m sorry I made you see such an ugly sight. I’m sor—"

"Nagisa!"

The use of his name alone, and the sharp tone of Rei’s voice brings Nagisa’s face up. He looks at Rei, whose fists are clenched at his sides.

"I need you to understand," Rei says, voice trembling with something hard like anger, but not quite. "You have never,  _ever_  looked ugly to me.”

The words should be a balm, but Nagisa feels too numb with shock and fear to feel their benefit. What Rei has just said is amazing, he knows this, but they’re just words, just some abstract particles floating around the room. Nagisa wishes he could just  _focus_ —

"Would you let me see again?" Rei asks.

"Hm?" They’re all just words. Nagisa struggles to capture them; assign meaning.

"Would you let me see the— the panties?"

That finally strikes Nagisa. “You want me to give you the panties?”

"N-no." Rei coughs, averting his eyes for a moment. "Keep them on. Just… maybe open your slacks or something."

Nagisa’s body goes from ice cold to burning hot in an instant. His face, especially, feels about to combust. Mortification sweeps through him, but he knows that he won’t be able to refuse Rei anything. Not when it might mean the difference between somehow clinging onto the relationship or ruining it forever. He has no right to say, “Please don’t break up with me,” so he’ll do this instead.

Unzipping his slacks and pulling the flaps apart to expose the bright pinkness beneath, Nagisa remains sitting on the bed and lowers his head in embarrassment. Even his chest is flushed, and Rei can see that, Nagisa’s white shirt unbuttoned and almost sliding off one shoulder. Rei drops into a crouch.

"Take—" He clears his throat. "Can you remove the slacks, please."

Nagisa complies, then sits with his legs tightly pressed together. He can’t look at Rei. But he can hear the heavy breaths, the hard swallow.

"Spread your legs?"

Nagisa does so. He doesn’t know what Rei’s doing, but he will go along with all of it, if it just keeps Rei here, in this room. Because Nagisa can’t shake the thought that, if he leaves now, he leaves for good.

"Can I touch— Can I touch them?"

Finding the courage to look at Rei, Nagisa notices the look on his face, softer than before — open and hesitant. He isn’t casting a judgmental eye over Nagisa anymore. This is something else.

Nagisa nods. Rei reaches out a hand unsteady with minute tremblings, places two fingertips against Nagisa through the pink lace, and starts to falteringly rub up and down. Nagisa lets out a breath. He holds his body tight, trying to contain the shudder that desperately wants to rip through him.

It feels good.  _Really_  good.

As Rei’s fingers continue their experimental stroking, the danger only gets more and more real.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa grabs Rei’s wrist. "If you— I can’t— If you keep doing that—"

"It’s okay." Rei’s voice is hoarse. "I mean, if it’s okay with you… it’s okay."

Nagisa stares. Rei doesn’t look away. Nagisa’s hand draws back.

The soft up-and-down motion continues, Rei drawing more pleasure from Nagisa with those two fingers than any given night alone in his room with a fantasy and both his hands ever had.

Just sitting there, legs spread, feeling his cock slowly harden under Rei’s fingertips and the smooth slide of lace, the powerlessness of it is nearly enough to drive a boy mad. But when Nagisa leans forward, hands aiming for Rei’s body, desperate for any kind of distraction, he is rebuffed.

"No, wait." Rei’s eyes are narrowed, transfixed on the outline of Nagisa’s dick. "Just let me—"

The rest is lost to Nagisa as heat spreads through the thin fabric, enveloping him in a sensation so intensely sweet it almost hurts. Rei has put his mouth against him.

He mouths Nagisa through the panties, getting them wet with saliva and pre-cum, as Nagisa helplessly squirts against the lace.

"Rei-chan—"

Suddenly, cold air hits, and Nagisa realizes that Rei has drawn back and now has both hands on the panties, pulling them down. He lowers them just a little, just enough to free Nagisa’s cock, leaving the lace hooked behind his balls, stretched taut over his hips.

Nagisa goes to say something, probably no more than Rei’s name again, but before he can get the words out, Rei is moving, dropping onto his knees.

He lowers his head once more, and takes Nagisa’s dick into his mouth. Just the head, at first — suckled gingerly as his tongue learns Nagisa’s shape. He explores the tip, wriggles his tongue against that tiny slit, coating it in another spurt of pre-cum. Nagisa grips the bed sheets, throws his legs as far wide as they’ll go, defenseless and panting.

As Rei’s confidence builds, he takes more and more, until Nagisa is almost completely engulfed. Slowly, his head begins to bob.

“ _Rei-cha— n,_ " Nagisa whimpers, bringing one hand to the top of Rei’s head.

He barely manages to keep his fingers gentle as he threads them into Rei’s hair, and his palm starts bumping clumsily against Rei’s glasses on every up-stroke until Rei finally pulls off with a grunt of annoyance.

Nagisa moans pathetically and reaches out. Rei whips off his glasses and places them beside his knees on the floor, then takes both of Nagisa’s hands in his own. Squeezing them, he smiles. Their eyes meet.

"Shh, it’s okay," Rei says, radiating warmth from his palms. "I’m right here."

Holding Nagisa’s hands tightly, Rei lowers his head and pleasure wraps around Nagisa once again.

“ _Ah!_ " Nagisa cries, then clamps his lips shut to muffle the noise, never quite able to forget the presence of his parents just below them. " _Mmm._ ”

Rei works up and down Nagisa’s dick, the sweet, sharp pressure building and building. Until, all of a sudden, everything is just  _too much_ , and Nagisa is pulling away frantically. He barely registers the surprise in Rei’s eyes, the trace of uncertainty, the  _incredible_  scorching pleasure ripping through his own body, before he’s turned himself around and is coming helplessly against the bed sheets, gritting his teeth to keep the noises inside.

As the haze of pleasure slowly starts to lift, it occurs to Nagisa that it’s going to be very troublesome to clean those in secret, and pretty much impossible until the morning, meaning a super uncomfortable night ahead. But better this than Rei getting a surprise mouthful of— of—

Nagisa’s face burns as the reality of what has just happened truly hits him. Of _what is happening_.

But before he gets a chance to start properly freaking out, Nagisa notices the look on Rei’s face. He looks frozen in time, his mouth a tight, thin line; his brows furrowed deep; his eyes fixed on some meaningless spot on the bedroom wall. Outside, he is an impenetrable wall. Inside, Nagisa fears, he might be crumbling.

"Rei-chan," Nagisa says gently. "Look at me."

He does, but his eyes are unfocused. Terror begins to pool in Nagisa’s belly again. What will he do if Rei really does feel disgusted by what’s happened here?

"Rei-chan, I’m so—"

"Nagisa-kun, I’m sorry," Rei says suddenly, dropping his head.

Already kneeling, he looks like a young man utterly defeated. Nagisa gapes.

"This wasn’t supposed to happen," Rei continues, face downturned.

The rejection hurts just as much as Nagisa always feared it would, and it still manages to steal his breath.  _Don’t blame yourself. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry I ruined this._  All the things he wants so desperately to say stick in his throat.

But Rei is still speaking anyway. “There was a plan in place. It was supposed to go: confession, kissing, first date, holding hands, kissing with tongues — then there were at least six more steps before we even  _approached_  the sexual aspects of our relationship. And I just bypassed them all.”

"Uh," Nagisa says.

"I can only apologize. I don’t— I don’t know what came over me." Rei’s face is bright red with shame.

With  _shame_. Not disgust. Not anger. Not blame or loathing or the kind of regret from which a relationship just can’t recover. Nagisa’s heart starts to soar.

_I don’t know what came over me_ , Rei had said.

Casting his eyes down his own, still-trembling body, softening cock glistening with traces of cum and pre-cum, hot pink panties still stretched from thigh to thigh and soaked with the same juices, Nagisa starts to think that he might know.

When Nagisa’s hand closes around a wrist, Rei lets himself be led up to sit on the bed beside him, tactfully avoiding the wet patches. Nagisa swallows. Now it’s clear to see — Rei is hard.

Nagisa places his hand over the bulge in Rei’s slacks, and the effect is immediate. Unfocused no more, his eyes snap to Nagisa’s, wide and questioning and knife-sharp.

"You don’t have to—"

But Nagisa  _does_. He unzips Rei, pulls everything out of the way and slips his hand around Rei’s cock, skin on skin. He strokes with every ounce of confidence that he doesn’t possess, and when Rei tries to lower his head again, Nagisa heads him off and captures him in a kiss before he can hide.

As if finally gaining the permission he’s needed all this time, Rei moans against Nagisa’s mouth and slides his tongue inside. As they kiss, Nagisa delights in every muffled noise he manages to pull from Rei with his wicked little hands, as Rei whimpers each and every one against his lips.

What Nagisa wants — what he _really_  yearns to do — is to drop to the floor and go down on Rei. He wants to suck him until he comes, then swallow everything Rei gives him. But Nagisa’s already revealed enough of his shameful side today. Maybe some other day…

“ _Ah! Na— Nagisa-kun,_ " Rei gasps, tearing his mouth away for only a moment before Nagisa chases after it.

It doesn’t take long for Rei’s hips to start lifting with each stroke, for the sounds that Nagisa is swallowing to grow higher pitched and plaintive. Squeezing firmer and pumping faster, Nagisa takes Rei to the edge and, just before sending him over, takes the corner of the bed covers and throws them over Rei’s lap.

Rei comes into them, groaning so loudly that Nagisa can only kiss him as hard as he can in the hope of stifling it as much as possible.

In the aftermath, they sit side by side on Nagisa’s sacrificed bed sheets. Rei’s pants are already zipped up and looking immaculate, his glasses back in place. Nagisa has tucked himself back into his panties, but other than that and his open shirt, he is still exposed.

"Are you going to be okay?" Rei asks, finally breaking the silence. "I mean, because of your sheets."

Nagisa has been wondering that himself, but answers Rei with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I’ll work something out.”

He almost says,  _I’m used to washing things in secret_ , but stops himself. He still hasn’t told Rei about his sisters’ pranks and the shame of having to slip a pair of their underwear into the wash at the end of a long, embarrassing day of reluctant cross-dressing. But he will tell him one day soon. The thought of it settles warmly in Nagisa’s chest. He doesn’t have to keep anything from Rei anymore.

They sit in silence again, but it doesn’t feel oppressive. When Nagisa ventures a hand across the gap between them, Rei takes it in his own and holds it.

"So." Rei clears his throat. "You said that you don’t wear these every day."

Despite this newfound peace, Nagisa’s stomach starts to knot automatically at the subject. “I swear, Rei-chan. It’s only sometimes.”

"Will you be wearing them tomorrow?" Rei asks.

"Probably not," Nagisa answers, honestly. "I’ve never— um. I’ve never done it two days in a row before."

Rei’s eyes are fixed on his knees. “But… if I asked you to… would you?”

Nagisa stares at the side of Rei’s face for a long, long time. “…Yes.”

Rei’s throat works as he swallows, but he says nothing more. Nagisa doesn’t take his eyes off him.

"Oh." A thought occurs. "But I only have this one pair. I… uh… I probably won’t be able to get them clean for tomorrow."

Rei’s hands tighten into fists, one bunched around the fabric on his knee, the other wrapped around Nagisa’s hand.

"Maybe—" he says falteringly. "Maybe that’s okay."

It takes a moment. Nagisa’s mouth drops open.

"Rei-chan, you’re a pervert!"

Rei’s eyes finally snap up to meet Nagisa’s.

"T-takes one to know one!" he blusters, face red.

All Nagisa can do is grin wordlessly and, after a moment of embarrassed scowling, Rei’s expression softens and he is smiling too. Unable to contain himself any longer, Nagisa throws his arms around Rei’s neck and presses a kiss to his mouth. With this small, simple action, he hopes that Rei can feel even just a  _fraction_  of his gratitude, his love.

Rei’s hand cups Nagisa’s cheek until both boys pull away, aware of how quickly time is slipping through their fingers.

"I have to get home," Rei says, sounding regretful.

"I can walk with you to the station," Nagisa offers.

But Rei shakes his head. “I need to cool down. I can’t— I can’t do that when I’m around you.”

"Aw, you make me sound like a bad guy," Nagisa pouts, but doesn’t mean it.

Rei doesn’t fall for it. “You  _are_  a bad guy. You do things to me that I can’t— Well. I can’t understand. But I don’t— I don’t hate it.”

Nagisa beams. Rei smiles back, and it’s smaller but perfectly content and perfectly  _Rei_. Nagisa watches him get to his feet and collect his things.

"See you tomorrow, Rei-chan," he says as Rei heads for the door, then lowers his voice to add: "Look forward to it."

Rei halts, hand on the door knob, and looks back over his shoulder.

"Of course," he replies, pushing up his glasses with false bravado. "And, uh, you too."

Nagisa watches him leave the room, then simply sits as the unbelievable events of tonight wash over him. Turning, he catches sight of himself in the mirror once again. He takes it all in — the pink skin, small tracks of errant semen on his chest, damp panties clinging obscenely to the outline of his spent cock. He looks himself in the eyes, and smiles.

"Of course."


End file.
